"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor 12:9-10
I remember a time when I used to be much more dependent on the Lord. Whenever I faced a task or there was a challenge ahead, most of the time I would first and foremost come to Him in prayer. And I would wait expectantly for His answers, His works, His miracles. And oh did He not disappoint! I remember the amazement and joy that I felt when He on countless occasions provided for me, in big and small ways, in ways that I never thought possible. It was okay to be weak, helpless, in need, for I trusted completely that my faithful Father would provide.
But something has changed over the years. My dependence on the Lord has turned into dependence on myself; my faith and hope turned into cynicism and doubt. I am afraid to be weak, afraid to be helpless, afraid to not be in control of my circumstances and future. Where I would have first prayed to the Lord before, now I first think of what I can do to overcome the challenge or difficulty. I try to be wise, I try to be strong, I try to be as perfect as I can be. But I try all this on my own, without God. And deep inside I live with a lot of fear and insecurity- what if I'm not strong enough to handle all this? What if life takes a downward turn that I cannot endure?
What is it that has caused this change? There is no one cause that I can pinpoint, but a whole variety of them that have blended together to attack the foundations of my faith. The severity of the challenges and crises that I face escalate along with my age. Waiting for God in the midst of trouble and strife stretches my finite human patience, which has often failed. Personal crises I have gone through have left me wounded and doubting God. Depending not on myself but on other people opens myself up to get hurt, used and abused, which is a terrible feeling. There is also the subtle influence of the people around me who are go-getters, people who drive themselves onward in the pursuit of their goals and dreams. It is such a tough world for anyone, let alone a Christian, to live in.
It is not just in myself that I see this phenomenon. I see it a lot in men, especially middle-aged ones. We live in the society of the "self-made man", the man who has worked hard all his days from scratch and gradually built a successful career and life for himself and his family. He is strong, he is tough, he is able to withstand the hardest challenges. He can take all the knocks life throws at him and still carry on. He does not need to depend on anyone; he is strong enough. And he is proud too, proud of what he has achieved. But deep inside he too is insecure; he needs to keep working, keep bettering himself, for fear of losing out.
But our God stands and calls us to live a life of humble dependence upon Him. "Assuredly, I say to you," our Lord Jesus said, "unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matt 18:3-4. The world tells us that you must be strong and depend on yourself; our God tells us that He is strong and we can depend on Him. The world celebrates power and strength and ability and achievement; our God delights in humility and submission and trust. The world tells us to grow more and more powerful; God tells us that we must lose ourselves as we gain more of Him. "He must increase, but I must decrease," said John the Baptist. (John 3:30) Only in God's world do we stand taller when we kneel lower.
"Thus says the Lord,
'Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgement, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight,' says the Lord". Jeremiah 9:23-24
I need to humble myself again. I need to be willing to be weak, that He may be strong. I need to stop depending on my own strength and wisdom, and depend on His which is so much greater. I need to lose the pride of myself. I need to, in the words of my pastor, make prayer my first resource and not a last resort. I need to stop trying to prove myself, so that I may instead prove what is that good and perfect and acceptable will of God.
As you read the verse at the start of this post, written by the Apostle Paul, you might have been thinking, wow, even this great and mighty man had to depend on God for strength when he was weak. But I do not think that is what Paul meant. I believe that this great man did such great things for God only because right from the start, he acknowledged that he was weak, and would rather boast in his weakness and infirmity than try and be strong on his own. Because he understood that it was only when he was willing to remain utterly weak, that God's strength could be made perfect in him. And lest we forget, our Lord Jesus Christ Himself accomplished the greatest work of his life here on earth not when he preached and performed miracles in power and strength, but when he humbled himself, stretched out His hands and died for us. Praise be to Him.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor 12:9-10
I remember a time when I used to be much more dependent on the Lord. Whenever I faced a task or there was a challenge ahead, most of the time I would first and foremost come to Him in prayer. And I would wait expectantly for His answers, His works, His miracles. And oh did He not disappoint! I remember the amazement and joy that I felt when He on countless occasions provided for me, in big and small ways, in ways that I never thought possible. It was okay to be weak, helpless, in need, for I trusted completely that my faithful Father would provide.
But something has changed over the years. My dependence on the Lord has turned into dependence on myself; my faith and hope turned into cynicism and doubt. I am afraid to be weak, afraid to be helpless, afraid to not be in control of my circumstances and future. Where I would have first prayed to the Lord before, now I first think of what I can do to overcome the challenge or difficulty. I try to be wise, I try to be strong, I try to be as perfect as I can be. But I try all this on my own, without God. And deep inside I live with a lot of fear and insecurity- what if I'm not strong enough to handle all this? What if life takes a downward turn that I cannot endure?
What is it that has caused this change? There is no one cause that I can pinpoint, but a whole variety of them that have blended together to attack the foundations of my faith. The severity of the challenges and crises that I face escalate along with my age. Waiting for God in the midst of trouble and strife stretches my finite human patience, which has often failed. Personal crises I have gone through have left me wounded and doubting God. Depending not on myself but on other people opens myself up to get hurt, used and abused, which is a terrible feeling. There is also the subtle influence of the people around me who are go-getters, people who drive themselves onward in the pursuit of their goals and dreams. It is such a tough world for anyone, let alone a Christian, to live in.
It is not just in myself that I see this phenomenon. I see it a lot in men, especially middle-aged ones. We live in the society of the "self-made man", the man who has worked hard all his days from scratch and gradually built a successful career and life for himself and his family. He is strong, he is tough, he is able to withstand the hardest challenges. He can take all the knocks life throws at him and still carry on. He does not need to depend on anyone; he is strong enough. And he is proud too, proud of what he has achieved. But deep inside he too is insecure; he needs to keep working, keep bettering himself, for fear of losing out.
But our God stands and calls us to live a life of humble dependence upon Him. "Assuredly, I say to you," our Lord Jesus said, "unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matt 18:3-4. The world tells us that you must be strong and depend on yourself; our God tells us that He is strong and we can depend on Him. The world celebrates power and strength and ability and achievement; our God delights in humility and submission and trust. The world tells us to grow more and more powerful; God tells us that we must lose ourselves as we gain more of Him. "He must increase, but I must decrease," said John the Baptist. (John 3:30) Only in God's world do we stand taller when we kneel lower.
"Thus says the Lord,
'Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom,
Let not the mighty man glory in his might,
But let him who glories glory in this,
That he understands and knows Me,
That I am the Lord, exercising lovingkindness, judgement, and righteousness in the earth. For in these I delight,' says the Lord". Jeremiah 9:23-24
I need to humble myself again. I need to be willing to be weak, that He may be strong. I need to stop depending on my own strength and wisdom, and depend on His which is so much greater. I need to lose the pride of myself. I need to, in the words of my pastor, make prayer my first resource and not a last resort. I need to stop trying to prove myself, so that I may instead prove what is that good and perfect and acceptable will of God.
As you read the verse at the start of this post, written by the Apostle Paul, you might have been thinking, wow, even this great and mighty man had to depend on God for strength when he was weak. But I do not think that is what Paul meant. I believe that this great man did such great things for God only because right from the start, he acknowledged that he was weak, and would rather boast in his weakness and infirmity than try and be strong on his own. Because he understood that it was only when he was willing to remain utterly weak, that God's strength could be made perfect in him. And lest we forget, our Lord Jesus Christ Himself accomplished the greatest work of his life here on earth not when he preached and performed miracles in power and strength, but when he humbled himself, stretched out His hands and died for us. Praise be to Him.
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