I actually wanted to write more, but I guess I really should be getting to sleep soon. It's back to army in a matter of hours. Let me try and summarize what army has been like for me. It's not the physical activity that kills you, because most people would have some sports background and be able to cope. And after all, physical training is like an injection- you endure for a brief moment, and then after that you scarcely remember the pain, and sometimes you even feel good. What really got to me was that army life is really meaningless and purposeless at times. We do really brainless things, sing really brainless songs, say really brainless things. And it just drags on and on and on. The days are so long, literally (18 hour day) and figuratively. You are literally living day by day, taking each day as it comes and looking forward so much to the next book out. And of course, I miss family and friends and the comforts of home. It was a great departure from the school life I loved so much, where that were always things to be excited about, friends to fool around with, and time to rest. In the army you are perpetually moving, and your body is hovering in the state where it is neither absolutely exhausted nor wonderfully charged up. That is a terrible feeling, akin to the feeling of lethargy that we sometimes experience in school.

I am not saying this for the sake of saying this or just because it seems like the right thing to say. God has really brought me through. I've learnt that anything can be overcome and endured when He is with you. Reading his Word and reading about Him gave me so much strength and joy to go on. I never looked forward to quiet time as much as I did in the army. And just thinking about Him, meditating on His words, and thinking about His everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3) kept me going. Now I look at OCS, even though it's a dreadful 10 months long, and whatever will follow, in a totally different light. All along my favourite verse has been Hebrews 12: 1-2- "...let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith", and it just became so much more real to me.

I guess this is a bit too late for my fellow NS men to read, but to everyone else who reads this, God can bring you through any situation. His love is that wonderful.