Living in Narnia

Saturday, January 13, 2007

This is a little late, but Happy New Year to everyone! :o)

How did you cross over into 2007? At the Countdown with glorious fireworks and jubilant celebrations? With friends and family over a warm cup of coffee or a mahjong table? For the first time in 3 or 4 years, I spent it at Watchnight service in church. For various reasons I had missed the previous ones- either too lazy to attend, having some other party, or being overseas.

In church, the new year was not ushered in with great celebration, loud music, or flashing lights, but a minute of silence- and total darkness. A minute for us to be still- and to talk to the Lord.

It was a powerful experience for me. That moment of darkness enlightened me. In that brief moment, I realized the true state of my life, and of the world and the rest of humanity.

We live in constant darkness. The darkness of this sin-stained world where Satan reigns and where evil abounds. The darkness of our own sinful nature, as we commit crimes against God and our fellow man. The darkness of the future, where everything is uncertain.

For a long time now I have been trying to live life my own way. Trying to find my own happiness, trying to fulfill my own passions, trying to engineer my own successes and achievements, succumbing to my sinful nature. And I am no closer to the peace that I seek. Without God I am lost, stumbling in darkness. I have no idea what I really want in this life, no strength to fight against my sinfulness, no inner peace in the midst of all the busy striving. I allow myself to drift from day to day, tossed on the waves of my desire for self-gratification and man's praise, or drowning in the flood of work and responsibilities. I crave after the things and pleasures of this world, and yet find them fleeting and empty. My studies are not carried by trust in the Lord, but driven by fear. My devotional life is often non-existent. Several times I have stopped and asked myself, "What am I doing with my life?"

"And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it." (John 1:5) In the midst of our darkness, the light of Christ shines. "That was the true Light which gives light to every man who comes into the world." (John 1:9)

In retrospect, it is only when I have drawn near to God that life has made sense. With Him I have direction, balance, peace, self-control. Without Him, life quickly degenerates into that mad and meaningless rush that I have earlier described. He is my Rock and my Shepherd.

And so in that moment of darkness, I looked to the Light. I resolved, in this new year, to keep looking to the Light. To turn away from the idols in my life, to humble myself, to maintain a deep devotional life.

A few years ago, while I was in the Philippines on a mission trip, I remember returning to my hotel in a taxi at night. We drove along a winding mountain road that was absolutely dark, save for the headlights of the taxi. We could see no further than a few metres ahead, and never beyond the next bend in the road. And I thought to myself, isn't this a powerful illustration of life? We live in darkness, not knowing how to live or what lies ahead. We cannot see where the next bend in the road of life will take us. But God gives us just enough light for the next step ahead. He does not leave us in total darkness, or we may stumble and fall; He does not reveal too much of the road ahead, lest we become smug and complacent. Every step of the way we are dependent on Him for guidance.

May the true Light shine brightly in your life in the New Year!

“And I said to the man who stood at the gate, “Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown."
And he replied: "Go out into darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way."
So I went forth, and finding the hand of God, trod gladly into the night. And He led me toward the hills, and the breaking of the day."

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