"Hope springs eternal in the human breast; man never is but always to be blest" --Alexander Pope
All of us have hopes and dreams. Small hopes, big hopes; dreams that are near, dreams that are far. Hardly a day passes that I don't hope for something, that I don't dream of something.
And yet with hope comes disappointment. And there are few pills in life that are as difficult to swallow, few aches in life that are as difficult to bear as disappointment. When our deepest and dearest hopes and dreams seem to crumble before our eyes, sometimes it feels like your heart is just wrenched out from within you, leaving you empty and broken. The greater your hope, the greater the disappointment. The higher the dream, the more painful when it comes crashing down to the ground.
People respond to disappointment in different ways. Some, like me, refuse to let go of the hope, no matter how painful. They just keep clinging on, keep going back for more, despite getting hurt over and over again. Why? It is the hope within them, so strong and enduring, that keeps them going. Some, like me too, are sometimes driven to the point where they feel utterly broken and unable to carry on. They feel like it is pointless to keep trying, since life is full of disappointment after disappointment. Fleeting happiness gives way to sorrow, renewed hopes are dashed against the rocks again and again, leaving them battle-weary. Some have had enough of disappointment and respond by trying to cut out all hopes and dreams from their lives. After all, if you don't hope, you can't get disappointed right? Broken dreams can't happen when there are no dreams to break! But no matter how successful these people are at it, they live with the bitterness of knowing that there remain hopes in their hearts that they refuse to acknowledge, and will never be answered.
If you are one of the above three groups of people, this post is for you. Disappointment is an inevitable part of life. There are bound to be hopes that will be dashed, dreams that will be shattered. This is the grim reality that we live in. The sooner we come to accept that fact, the sooner we will be able to deal with it.
But just how do we deal with disappointment? How do we pick ourselves up and carry on when there's no strength left in our weary bones and broken hearts? Stop hoping? That might work for a while, but it will not carry you through. We were made to hope, in the same way that we were made to love. "Hope springs eternal in the human breast..." Can you imagine living life without hope? How barren it would be! To hope is very much part of us as humans, made in the image of God. It is what gives humans the superhuman spirit to fight on when the chips are down. It is why some people will just never give up. Live without hope for too long, and life becomes dull, dreary, pointless, meaningless, directionless. Yes you may be able to survive, you may be able to pull through, but it is far from the kind of fullness of life that God built us for. Find hope in your heart, and you will always have that extra bit of strength to keep you going. "man never is but always to be blest..."
So how, how do we deal with disappointment? To this day I still have no concrete answers to this question. No formula to apply, no sequence of steps to take to make the pain go away. It is an emotion that has to be dealt with (you can see my previous post). But ultimately, I believe that recovery will always include finding hope once again. The hope may be different, modified, lowered, but it must be there. Because it is the only thing that keeps us human, the only thing that keeps our heads looking up and ahead instead of down at the ground, the only thing that prevents us from falling into a downward spiral of futility and frustration and disillusionment, the end point of which is utter disinterestedness in this life which is a real tragedy.
From where does the comfort come? From people, from God. From dear friends who will stand beside us in our hour of despair, hold our hand and assure us that we can carry on. From dear friends who will believe in you even when you cannot believe in yourself. From dear friends who know what it is like to be disappointed and share your pain. And from God, ultimately. "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning... You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness..." Psalm 30. No matter what happens in this life, we know for sure that God loves us. We know for sure that He knows our deepest needs and cares deeply for the state of our bleeding hearts. And we know for sure that no matter what happens in this life, we have a glorious eternity waiting for us, where all tears will be put away forever.
Aragorn says in the Two Towers, before the battle of Helm's Deep, to a boy in despair, "There is always hope." Cliche indeed. But cliche as it may be, have you ever tried to find out if it is true? Have you given hope a chance? May you always be able to find hope, even when all hope is lost.
"And now abide faith, hope and love..." 1 Cor 13:13
All of us have hopes and dreams. Small hopes, big hopes; dreams that are near, dreams that are far. Hardly a day passes that I don't hope for something, that I don't dream of something.
And yet with hope comes disappointment. And there are few pills in life that are as difficult to swallow, few aches in life that are as difficult to bear as disappointment. When our deepest and dearest hopes and dreams seem to crumble before our eyes, sometimes it feels like your heart is just wrenched out from within you, leaving you empty and broken. The greater your hope, the greater the disappointment. The higher the dream, the more painful when it comes crashing down to the ground.
People respond to disappointment in different ways. Some, like me, refuse to let go of the hope, no matter how painful. They just keep clinging on, keep going back for more, despite getting hurt over and over again. Why? It is the hope within them, so strong and enduring, that keeps them going. Some, like me too, are sometimes driven to the point where they feel utterly broken and unable to carry on. They feel like it is pointless to keep trying, since life is full of disappointment after disappointment. Fleeting happiness gives way to sorrow, renewed hopes are dashed against the rocks again and again, leaving them battle-weary. Some have had enough of disappointment and respond by trying to cut out all hopes and dreams from their lives. After all, if you don't hope, you can't get disappointed right? Broken dreams can't happen when there are no dreams to break! But no matter how successful these people are at it, they live with the bitterness of knowing that there remain hopes in their hearts that they refuse to acknowledge, and will never be answered.
If you are one of the above three groups of people, this post is for you. Disappointment is an inevitable part of life. There are bound to be hopes that will be dashed, dreams that will be shattered. This is the grim reality that we live in. The sooner we come to accept that fact, the sooner we will be able to deal with it.
But just how do we deal with disappointment? How do we pick ourselves up and carry on when there's no strength left in our weary bones and broken hearts? Stop hoping? That might work for a while, but it will not carry you through. We were made to hope, in the same way that we were made to love. "Hope springs eternal in the human breast..." Can you imagine living life without hope? How barren it would be! To hope is very much part of us as humans, made in the image of God. It is what gives humans the superhuman spirit to fight on when the chips are down. It is why some people will just never give up. Live without hope for too long, and life becomes dull, dreary, pointless, meaningless, directionless. Yes you may be able to survive, you may be able to pull through, but it is far from the kind of fullness of life that God built us for. Find hope in your heart, and you will always have that extra bit of strength to keep you going. "man never is but always to be blest..."
So how, how do we deal with disappointment? To this day I still have no concrete answers to this question. No formula to apply, no sequence of steps to take to make the pain go away. It is an emotion that has to be dealt with (you can see my previous post). But ultimately, I believe that recovery will always include finding hope once again. The hope may be different, modified, lowered, but it must be there. Because it is the only thing that keeps us human, the only thing that keeps our heads looking up and ahead instead of down at the ground, the only thing that prevents us from falling into a downward spiral of futility and frustration and disillusionment, the end point of which is utter disinterestedness in this life which is a real tragedy.
From where does the comfort come? From people, from God. From dear friends who will stand beside us in our hour of despair, hold our hand and assure us that we can carry on. From dear friends who will believe in you even when you cannot believe in yourself. From dear friends who know what it is like to be disappointed and share your pain. And from God, ultimately. "For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning... You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness..." Psalm 30. No matter what happens in this life, we know for sure that God loves us. We know for sure that He knows our deepest needs and cares deeply for the state of our bleeding hearts. And we know for sure that no matter what happens in this life, we have a glorious eternity waiting for us, where all tears will be put away forever.
Aragorn says in the Two Towers, before the battle of Helm's Deep, to a boy in despair, "There is always hope." Cliche indeed. But cliche as it may be, have you ever tried to find out if it is true? Have you given hope a chance? May you always be able to find hope, even when all hope is lost.
"And now abide faith, hope and love..." 1 Cor 13:13
