Please allow me to add one more point about humility, one which may be the most fundamental and important of all. Before we even talk about serving God, and using our talents and abilities for Him, let us remember that our very lives are redeemed by Him. At the end of the day we are still sinners. And at the end of the day it is still the grace of God that has redeemed us to Him. No matter how sinful and imperfect we are, and how we constantly let Him down, God still loves us, God still forgives us. Such love! Such grace! That we, undeserving creatures, should come to know the Almighty God. And in this we, the redeemed, are duly humbled; we, the redeemed, declare the greatness of God; we, the redeemed, dedicate our lives to the Redeemer, and to spreading His love.
Saturday, May 31, 2003
On Monday I was sitting on a remote hill somewhere in the western part of Singapore, doing one of the most common things in the army- waiting- and feeling rather bored and troubled. It was a beautiful sunny day, complete with blue sky and rolling clouds. As I glanced up to the sky I caught sight of an eagle, soaring through the clouds high above the earth. I know it is quite rare to see an eagle in the sky in Singapore, but I am very sure that I saw it that day. And as I traced the path of the eagle, the words of Isaiah came to my head- "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles..."
At that very moment I caught a glimpse of what God has for us, and the freedom that he intends us to have. Imagine yourself as the eagle; imagine that feeling, of soaring through the sky above all earthly cares, of being lifted by the wind of God and letting it carry you where He desires. Imagine that freedom! Do we miss that feeling in our stressful, fast-paced lives? Do we know how that feels when we have a hundred and one cares weighing down on our hearts and minds? I caught a glimpse of that feeling that day, Praise the Lord.
"Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagle's wings, and brought you unto myself..." Exodus 19:4. To be free like an eagle, we must first be free from all the earthly cares that can so easily ensnare us. These words were spoken to the Israelities, after God had brought them out of the slavery and oppresion of Egypt after nearly four hundred years. Yes, they were finally free. What modern day Egypts are we slave to? Studies? Relationships? Material wealth? Success? Glory? The fear of the future? Being free does not mean that we do not suffer or face difficulty or worry- the Israelites endured a gruelling escape through the desert from the wrath of the Egyptians, pursued relentlessly, yet God still told them that He had carried them on "eagle's wings". We may face difficulties and worries in our lives, but we can be spiritually free. Free when we place our trust in God knowing that He has a plan for us and that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. When we learn to trust in Him and allow Him to work in our lives, we will discover a peace that no matter what happens before our eyes, we know that our lives and futures are safe and secure in Him. Every single bit of our lives, nothing less. Jesus summed it up when He said, "These things I have spoken to you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33.
But that is not the toughest battle. Quoting from Every Day With Jesus , "The real battle in life is over what we do with the self, all other things are skirmishes." The Israelites were freed from their earthly chains, but lost the most crucial battle of all in the end- the battle against themselves. Gifted with freedom and blessings from God, they chose to turn away, with astonishing speed. Just three months into their exodus from Egypt, as Moses ascended Mount Sinai for his legendary meeting, the children of God made for themselves a golden calf, to replace the Almighty God. Exodus 32 records the dreadful story. A measly golden calf, to replace the God who had parted the Red Sea and destroyed their enemies before their very eyes! What were they thinking?
Yet before we press judgement, let us examine ourselves, and let us see whether we have been guilty of the same thing. There are no Red Seas to part in our lives, nor golden calves to build, yet looking deep in our hearts, we must confess that even though God has blessed us and delivered us time and time again, our hearts constantly turn away from Him. Away from Him to seek our own desires, to appease our sinful natures. All modern day golden calves. Sad, isn't it?
But there is no despair with God, He gives us the key in one of the most oft-quoted verses of our age. "But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles..." Isaiah 40:31. While people like to focus on the words "wings like eagles", quite naturally, allow me to draw your attention to what I believe is the crux of this verse. "But those who wait upon the Lord...." The mounting up like eagles is a consequence of waiting upon the Lord; so then, what does it mean to wait upon the Lord? The words "wait upon" are used nowadays in the contexts of waiters and perhaps butlers; in Biblical days it would have meant being a servant. Yes, that is the key, to be God's humble servant.
What is humility? Humility is not belittling your achievements or your abilities; that is modesty. Humility is not denying your abilities in order to appear humble; that is false modesty. Conversely, pride is not just feeling good about your abilities or achievements, and letting people see that; that is vanity. C.S. Lewis considered pride- not lust, not anger, not jealousy- the cardinal sin, and it is not hard to see why. Satan fell because he was proud. He fell because he thought himself to be equal with God. And from there is the key to understanding what humility is.
Humility is knowing our place and where we stand. "For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as it thou hadst not received it?" 1 Corinthians 4:7. The first step in humility is recognising that everything we have- our talents, abilities and strengths, are all God-given. Some people may say, but I worked all by myself to achieve something that I did not already have! And I am proud of that! But tell me, what is within you that is not God-given? Even the strength and tenacity to achieve and break limits is God-given. Everything that you think you can be proud of within you is God-given. So why should we be proud of them when they were never ours? Why should we be proud of them when we have done nothing to receive them? "
"For none of us liveth to himself, and no man doeth to himself. For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living." Romans 14: 7-9. The next step in humility follows very naturally from the first. God has given us these gifts for a reason. God gave the Israelites freedom because He loved them, and because He wanted them to be a vessel of His love unto the nations. But the Israelites chose to use their God-given freedom for their own ends. Are we doing the same thing? Are we using the gifts that God has given us for His glory? Or have we chosen to use them for our own selfish desires?
Herein lies the crux of humility- to know our place, to know who we are. To know that we are God's servants, created specially and blessed by him to do His work, love and bless others and ultimately bring glory to Him. All our strengths and abilities have been given to us for one reason, and that is to bring glory to His name. It's in His Word! "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16. Following on from the previous verse, "So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God." Romans 4:12. And one day we will have to give an account before God, of how we have used the gifts that He has given us, to bless the people around us, and to glorify Him. It's not about us and what we can achiveve for ourselves in our lives. It's all about God. "For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." Romans 14:11.
And so as humble servants, we must turn away from our own desires, to wait upon him- to wait for Him to reveal His desires for us, and to do as He wills, like a waiter in any restaurant would. And it is not easy; from my own experience, I have found that the struggle to be humble is the toughest of all, and I am still struggling. But before you get the impression that live as a Christian is miserable, remember the promise that those who wait will mount up like eagles, and let me testify. The times in my life when I achieved supposedly great things for myself, felt surprisingly empty and meaningless. The thing that constantly runs through my mind is- so what? But it was during those times in my life where I used what He has given me to serve and obey Him- whether it be in church, in school, or at home- were those times where I felt the most joy and fulfilment. It's indescribable. When I helped to lead a Thai woman to faith during my mission trip two years ago, the joy that I felt deep inside was unlike any I had felt before. It was the joy of being exactly who I was always meant to be- God's servant. When God gives me the opportunity of sharing my faith with people, or of encouraging and blessing my brothers and sisters in Christ, it is that same kind of feeling. I'm sure you would agree with me that you would always be most happy when you can be yourself and not have to put on appearances, or do something that you were never meant to do. And that is the case with God. In serving Him humbly we find our place. And in dedicating our lives to loving others and letting the love of God flow through us to others, we find our greatest joy.
I believe there is one more step to being humble, and that is to recognise that we as humans are not perfect, and relying on God's strength, not ours. I have come to the conclusion that I am utterly and hopelessly weak. Time and again I succumb to my sinful desires, time and again I become proud and stray away. The times in my life where I have learnt or grown were those times that God taught me, not when I tried to teach myself. The times in my life when I saw the light and experienced that mounting up like an eagle were those times when I listened to God and obeyed Him, and let Him him lead me. The times when I went astray was when I tried to lead myself, by my own strength. God has turned me back countless times from the error of my way. Oh how weak we are! "Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall." Isaiah 40:30. But God is strong. I am reminded of the children's song that we used to sing- "Jesus loves me this I know, For the Bible tells me so, Little ones to Him belong, They are weak but He is strong." We are all little ones, we are all weak and helpless. But again, God is strong. "Doth the eagle mount up at thy command, and make her nest on high?" Job 39:27. It is God who will lift us up, it is God who will be the wind beneath our wings as we soar. It is up to us to choose to humble ourselves and depend on Him. "Thou whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called thee from the chief men thereof, and said unto thee, Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away. Fear thou not, for I am with thee: be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41: 9-10. And when we acknowledge our weakness and acknowledge His strength, we bring glory to Him. "..if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth, that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion forever and ever." 1 Peter 4:11.
Read this poem that I read in Every Day With Jesus,
Saviour, why do we,
Who claim we are Believers,
See, scarcely to believe that
You can truly set us free from
Life's enslaving snares?
Why do we, who call you Lord and Master,
Resist the liberating truth that
We are only fully free when
Mastered by Your love?
With prison doors thrown wide
We gaze towards freedom's light
Yet huddle in our cells of
Self and sin, guilt and fear
Tied to earth's concerns...
Does this amaze even You, Lord?
And contrast it with the words of the song Like Eagles
Oh my soul, do you know, have you not heard
It's been told from the beginning
The Lord your God is on Your side
Oh my soul, don't be afraid, hope in the Lord
By His righteousness and power
He will strengthen He will guide
And I will soar on wings like eagles
Held by the hand of God
I will run, and not grow tired
When on His name I call
For the Lord, He is never weary
His ways are beyond my thoughts
I will trust in Him
With all my heart
And I will rest upon His promise
Patiently I'll wait
It may seem ironic that in the Christian walk, the higher we go, the humbler we must be. But is it really that hard to believe? God accomplished His greatest work here on earth when Jesus humbled himself to the maximum, out of love for us. Jesus, the epitome of humility, is now the epitome of greatness, to the glory of God. Hallelejah.
At that very moment I caught a glimpse of what God has for us, and the freedom that he intends us to have. Imagine yourself as the eagle; imagine that feeling, of soaring through the sky above all earthly cares, of being lifted by the wind of God and letting it carry you where He desires. Imagine that freedom! Do we miss that feeling in our stressful, fast-paced lives? Do we know how that feels when we have a hundred and one cares weighing down on our hearts and minds? I caught a glimpse of that feeling that day, Praise the Lord.
"Ye have seen what I did unto the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagle's wings, and brought you unto myself..." Exodus 19:4. To be free like an eagle, we must first be free from all the earthly cares that can so easily ensnare us. These words were spoken to the Israelities, after God had brought them out of the slavery and oppresion of Egypt after nearly four hundred years. Yes, they were finally free. What modern day Egypts are we slave to? Studies? Relationships? Material wealth? Success? Glory? The fear of the future? Being free does not mean that we do not suffer or face difficulty or worry- the Israelites endured a gruelling escape through the desert from the wrath of the Egyptians, pursued relentlessly, yet God still told them that He had carried them on "eagle's wings". We may face difficulties and worries in our lives, but we can be spiritually free. Free when we place our trust in God knowing that He has a plan for us and that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28. When we learn to trust in Him and allow Him to work in our lives, we will discover a peace that no matter what happens before our eyes, we know that our lives and futures are safe and secure in Him. Every single bit of our lives, nothing less. Jesus summed it up when He said, "These things I have spoken to you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." John 16:33.
But that is not the toughest battle. Quoting from Every Day With Jesus , "The real battle in life is over what we do with the self, all other things are skirmishes." The Israelites were freed from their earthly chains, but lost the most crucial battle of all in the end- the battle against themselves. Gifted with freedom and blessings from God, they chose to turn away, with astonishing speed. Just three months into their exodus from Egypt, as Moses ascended Mount Sinai for his legendary meeting, the children of God made for themselves a golden calf, to replace the Almighty God. Exodus 32 records the dreadful story. A measly golden calf, to replace the God who had parted the Red Sea and destroyed their enemies before their very eyes! What were they thinking?
Yet before we press judgement, let us examine ourselves, and let us see whether we have been guilty of the same thing. There are no Red Seas to part in our lives, nor golden calves to build, yet looking deep in our hearts, we must confess that even though God has blessed us and delivered us time and time again, our hearts constantly turn away from Him. Away from Him to seek our own desires, to appease our sinful natures. All modern day golden calves. Sad, isn't it?
But there is no despair with God, He gives us the key in one of the most oft-quoted verses of our age. "But those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles..." Isaiah 40:31. While people like to focus on the words "wings like eagles", quite naturally, allow me to draw your attention to what I believe is the crux of this verse. "But those who wait upon the Lord...." The mounting up like eagles is a consequence of waiting upon the Lord; so then, what does it mean to wait upon the Lord? The words "wait upon" are used nowadays in the contexts of waiters and perhaps butlers; in Biblical days it would have meant being a servant. Yes, that is the key, to be God's humble servant.
What is humility? Humility is not belittling your achievements or your abilities; that is modesty. Humility is not denying your abilities in order to appear humble; that is false modesty. Conversely, pride is not just feeling good about your abilities or achievements, and letting people see that; that is vanity. C.S. Lewis considered pride- not lust, not anger, not jealousy- the cardinal sin, and it is not hard to see why. Satan fell because he was proud. He fell because he thought himself to be equal with God. And from there is the key to understanding what humility is.
Humility is knowing our place and where we stand. "For who maketh thee to differ from another? and what hast thou that thou didst not receive? now if thou didst receive it, why dost thou glory, as it thou hadst not received it?" 1 Corinthians 4:7. The first step in humility is recognising that everything we have- our talents, abilities and strengths, are all God-given. Some people may say, but I worked all by myself to achieve something that I did not already have! And I am proud of that! But tell me, what is within you that is not God-given? Even the strength and tenacity to achieve and break limits is God-given. Everything that you think you can be proud of within you is God-given. So why should we be proud of them when they were never ours? Why should we be proud of them when we have done nothing to receive them? "
"For none of us liveth to himself, and no man doeth to himself. For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's. For to this end Christ both died, and rose, and revived, that he might be Lord both of the dead and living." Romans 14: 7-9. The next step in humility follows very naturally from the first. God has given us these gifts for a reason. God gave the Israelites freedom because He loved them, and because He wanted them to be a vessel of His love unto the nations. But the Israelites chose to use their God-given freedom for their own ends. Are we doing the same thing? Are we using the gifts that God has given us for His glory? Or have we chosen to use them for our own selfish desires?
Herein lies the crux of humility- to know our place, to know who we are. To know that we are God's servants, created specially and blessed by him to do His work, love and bless others and ultimately bring glory to Him. All our strengths and abilities have been given to us for one reason, and that is to bring glory to His name. It's in His Word! "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Matthew 5:16. Following on from the previous verse, "So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God." Romans 4:12. And one day we will have to give an account before God, of how we have used the gifts that He has given us, to bless the people around us, and to glorify Him. It's not about us and what we can achiveve for ourselves in our lives. It's all about God. "For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." Romans 14:11.
And so as humble servants, we must turn away from our own desires, to wait upon him- to wait for Him to reveal His desires for us, and to do as He wills, like a waiter in any restaurant would. And it is not easy; from my own experience, I have found that the struggle to be humble is the toughest of all, and I am still struggling. But before you get the impression that live as a Christian is miserable, remember the promise that those who wait will mount up like eagles, and let me testify. The times in my life when I achieved supposedly great things for myself, felt surprisingly empty and meaningless. The thing that constantly runs through my mind is- so what? But it was during those times in my life where I used what He has given me to serve and obey Him- whether it be in church, in school, or at home- were those times where I felt the most joy and fulfilment. It's indescribable. When I helped to lead a Thai woman to faith during my mission trip two years ago, the joy that I felt deep inside was unlike any I had felt before. It was the joy of being exactly who I was always meant to be- God's servant. When God gives me the opportunity of sharing my faith with people, or of encouraging and blessing my brothers and sisters in Christ, it is that same kind of feeling. I'm sure you would agree with me that you would always be most happy when you can be yourself and not have to put on appearances, or do something that you were never meant to do. And that is the case with God. In serving Him humbly we find our place. And in dedicating our lives to loving others and letting the love of God flow through us to others, we find our greatest joy.
I believe there is one more step to being humble, and that is to recognise that we as humans are not perfect, and relying on God's strength, not ours. I have come to the conclusion that I am utterly and hopelessly weak. Time and again I succumb to my sinful desires, time and again I become proud and stray away. The times in my life where I have learnt or grown were those times that God taught me, not when I tried to teach myself. The times in my life when I saw the light and experienced that mounting up like an eagle were those times when I listened to God and obeyed Him, and let Him him lead me. The times when I went astray was when I tried to lead myself, by my own strength. God has turned me back countless times from the error of my way. Oh how weak we are! "Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall." Isaiah 40:30. But God is strong. I am reminded of the children's song that we used to sing- "Jesus loves me this I know, For the Bible tells me so, Little ones to Him belong, They are weak but He is strong." We are all little ones, we are all weak and helpless. But again, God is strong. "Doth the eagle mount up at thy command, and make her nest on high?" Job 39:27. It is God who will lift us up, it is God who will be the wind beneath our wings as we soar. It is up to us to choose to humble ourselves and depend on Him. "Thou whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, and called thee from the chief men thereof, and said unto thee, Thou art my servant; I have chosen thee, and not cast thee away. Fear thou not, for I am with thee: be not dismayed, for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Isaiah 41: 9-10. And when we acknowledge our weakness and acknowledge His strength, we bring glory to Him. "..if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth, that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion forever and ever." 1 Peter 4:11.
Read this poem that I read in Every Day With Jesus,
Saviour, why do we,
Who claim we are Believers,
See, scarcely to believe that
You can truly set us free from
Life's enslaving snares?
Why do we, who call you Lord and Master,
Resist the liberating truth that
We are only fully free when
Mastered by Your love?
With prison doors thrown wide
We gaze towards freedom's light
Yet huddle in our cells of
Self and sin, guilt and fear
Tied to earth's concerns...
Does this amaze even You, Lord?
And contrast it with the words of the song Like Eagles
Oh my soul, do you know, have you not heard
It's been told from the beginning
The Lord your God is on Your side
Oh my soul, don't be afraid, hope in the Lord
By His righteousness and power
He will strengthen He will guide
And I will soar on wings like eagles
Held by the hand of God
I will run, and not grow tired
When on His name I call
For the Lord, He is never weary
His ways are beyond my thoughts
I will trust in Him
With all my heart
And I will rest upon His promise
Patiently I'll wait
It may seem ironic that in the Christian walk, the higher we go, the humbler we must be. But is it really that hard to believe? God accomplished His greatest work here on earth when Jesus humbled himself to the maximum, out of love for us. Jesus, the epitome of humility, is now the epitome of greatness, to the glory of God. Hallelejah.
Sunday, May 25, 2003
For the past few weeks the weather has been insanely hot, but this morning it was actually pouring when I stepped out of the church sanctuary after a great service. Not for very long, only an hour or so, and thankfully it stopped before we left church. But it represented something important for me, a turning point in my life, a point where God is turning me back from mistakes I have made and a path that I should not have tread on. Please allow me to share.
I started writing this blog with the intention of glorifying God and sharing the wonderful things He has shown me with others. And writing it has been an amazing experience, in seeing how He speaks, and how He can unlock the marvelous secrets of His Word. But somewhere along the way, my focus starting shifting, from God to myself. I started writing for my sake, rather than for God's sake. I have always wanted to write well, and somewhere along the way that desire starting taking over. To the point that I became proud, without even knowing it. Yes, the cardinal sin of pride is something I have always struggled with. Along the way I also felt more and more that I wanted to go to Cambridge to study, because I thought there, alone with God, I would be free to write, and enjoy an exciting overseas life. It all crashed two weeks ago, before field camp, when the blogger server crashed just as I was trying to post an entry. I had thought very hard about that entry for the past week or so, and spent two hours or more writing it. And God not allowing it to be posted made me, gradually as I spent time reflecting, realise the folly of my ways. At the same time God reminded me, very strongly, about the calling He has given me many times before, to serve, love and bless the people in my life. My family, friends and cell group. And just today, the circle was completed as He reminded me about missions, and the commitment and promise I have made to serving Him in this area with the church.
Once again, through it all, God has remained patient, forgiving and faithful; it was I who strayed, out of my utter weakness. I will not renounce any of the things I have written in this blog so far, because they were truly inspired by Him and His Word. I will vouch for that. And writing this blog has really opened my eyes to the wonders of His Word, and how wonderful He is. Like I've said before, there is nothing wrong with God. Nothing at all. It is we who stray and fall. I pray that none of you will make the same mistake that I made, and stumble into the pit of pride.
Something else happened as well; yesterday I committed a grievous sin that I thought I had overcome, that I had not committed for two months or so. The guilt was there. But I thank God that I fell because it made me realise, in truth, how weak I am. Perhaps I had grown complacent; perhaps I had ceased to depend upon the grace and strength of God. I learnt one important lesson, not for the first time- that strength lies not in our hearts, but in God. Without Him we are nothing, without Him we can do nothing. And we live each day serving Him with all our hearts, not by our own strength, but relying humble on the strength and grace that He gives. "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." Philippians 2:13.
And so I have made the decision to stay here in Singapore, and to devote my life to loving and serving the people that God has placed in my life. If you read this, please pray for me, as I struggle with my pride and weaknesses. And of course, if there's anything for which you need prayer, please let me know; you can write it as a comment on this blog as well. I will continue writing this blog, and I pray that evermore it will be for you, and for God. Last year during the mission trip to Korat, Thailand, I made a promise that I would return there. Thank God that He has helped me remember that promise that I made to Him, and at the end of this year I hope to be able to go there with my cell group.
I hope none of you will make the mistakes that I have made, and let us all "remember the truth that once was spoken- to love another person is to see the face of God" Les Miserables. Life here on earth is about love- loving and serving the people around us, and bringing the love and joy that God has gifted to us to those who have it not. And if you find yourself struggling with putting others above yourself, as I often do, read this verse:
"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God; but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." Philippians 2: 5-8.
Jesus did it for us. Let's follow Him.
I started writing this blog with the intention of glorifying God and sharing the wonderful things He has shown me with others. And writing it has been an amazing experience, in seeing how He speaks, and how He can unlock the marvelous secrets of His Word. But somewhere along the way, my focus starting shifting, from God to myself. I started writing for my sake, rather than for God's sake. I have always wanted to write well, and somewhere along the way that desire starting taking over. To the point that I became proud, without even knowing it. Yes, the cardinal sin of pride is something I have always struggled with. Along the way I also felt more and more that I wanted to go to Cambridge to study, because I thought there, alone with God, I would be free to write, and enjoy an exciting overseas life. It all crashed two weeks ago, before field camp, when the blogger server crashed just as I was trying to post an entry. I had thought very hard about that entry for the past week or so, and spent two hours or more writing it. And God not allowing it to be posted made me, gradually as I spent time reflecting, realise the folly of my ways. At the same time God reminded me, very strongly, about the calling He has given me many times before, to serve, love and bless the people in my life. My family, friends and cell group. And just today, the circle was completed as He reminded me about missions, and the commitment and promise I have made to serving Him in this area with the church.
Once again, through it all, God has remained patient, forgiving and faithful; it was I who strayed, out of my utter weakness. I will not renounce any of the things I have written in this blog so far, because they were truly inspired by Him and His Word. I will vouch for that. And writing this blog has really opened my eyes to the wonders of His Word, and how wonderful He is. Like I've said before, there is nothing wrong with God. Nothing at all. It is we who stray and fall. I pray that none of you will make the same mistake that I made, and stumble into the pit of pride.
Something else happened as well; yesterday I committed a grievous sin that I thought I had overcome, that I had not committed for two months or so. The guilt was there. But I thank God that I fell because it made me realise, in truth, how weak I am. Perhaps I had grown complacent; perhaps I had ceased to depend upon the grace and strength of God. I learnt one important lesson, not for the first time- that strength lies not in our hearts, but in God. Without Him we are nothing, without Him we can do nothing. And we live each day serving Him with all our hearts, not by our own strength, but relying humble on the strength and grace that He gives. "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." Philippians 2:13.
And so I have made the decision to stay here in Singapore, and to devote my life to loving and serving the people that God has placed in my life. If you read this, please pray for me, as I struggle with my pride and weaknesses. And of course, if there's anything for which you need prayer, please let me know; you can write it as a comment on this blog as well. I will continue writing this blog, and I pray that evermore it will be for you, and for God. Last year during the mission trip to Korat, Thailand, I made a promise that I would return there. Thank God that He has helped me remember that promise that I made to Him, and at the end of this year I hope to be able to go there with my cell group.
I hope none of you will make the mistakes that I have made, and let us all "remember the truth that once was spoken- to love another person is to see the face of God" Les Miserables. Life here on earth is about love- loving and serving the people around us, and bringing the love and joy that God has gifted to us to those who have it not. And if you find yourself struggling with putting others above yourself, as I often do, read this verse:
"Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God; but made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross." Philippians 2: 5-8.
Jesus did it for us. Let's follow Him.
This is one of the most encouraging songs I have ever heard. When we fall, remember that God is always true, God is always faithful. He is our God.
I Will Sing
Lord you seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now that it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing,I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I Will Sing
Lord you seem so far away
A million miles or more it feels today
And though I haven't lost my faith
I must confess right now that it's hard for me to pray
But I don't know what to say
And I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
I will sing,I will praise
Even in my darkest hour
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will sing, I will praise
Lift my hands to honour You
Because Your Word is true
I will sing
Lord it's hard for me to see
All the thoughts and plans You have for me
But I will put my trust in You
Knowing that You died to set me free
But I don't know what to say
I don't know where to start
But as You give the grace
With all that's in my heart
