I have written a lot about being weak and relying on God, and not much about doing things for Him. Doing is very important, but it must be seen in the right light, the right context, otherwise it can be very harmful.

Most of what I have written about weakness and relying on God has been based upon the writings of Paul; and yet when we look at the book of Acts, we realise that Paul was a man that accomplished many great things for God. He travelled thousands of miles, converted thousands of souls, helped and taught many churches. James writes, "But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?" James 2:20. So how are works related?

Paul provides a wonderful answer in 1 Corinthians 2. "And I was with you in weakness, and in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God." v. 3-5. This is the key: that whatever we do stems out of the power and guidance of God. "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us." 2 Cor. 4:7. An earthen vessel needs to be filled; we too need to be filled with the power of God if we are to accomplish anything for Him.

We are called to be the salt and light of the world; that certainly will not happen by us sitting down our whole lives and doing nothing. The works that we are called to come in a huge variety. They can be in a church ministry; they can be outside of it. They can be as large as addressing a crowd or preaching a sermon; they can be as simple as helping a friend in need. They can be as challenging as evangelising to non-believers; they can also be as simple as comforting someone who is down, or praying for someone. There are many, many things out there that we can do for Him. And when God presents us with things to do, we must approach them with all the passion that we have. "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." Colossians 3:23.

But we must go trusting not in our strength, but in His. We must go empty- empty of what we think is our own strength, empty of our own wisdom, empty of our own motives, empty save for God’s strength, God’s love and the knowledge of what He has done and taught us on our own lives. Empty save for the faith that somehow and in some way, God will work marvelously. Empty save for the gifts that God has given to us, and humbly availing them to His use. Empty save for His Holy Spirit. Everything points to Him; in fact, everything we do must point others to Him. That itself in an act of relying on Him. “Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted.” 2 Cor. 1:4.

And as far as possible, it should be covered in prayer, asking for His strength and guidance. Ultimately it is God alone who can bring forth the fruit in anything that we do. "Except that the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it." Psa. 127:1

I believe that if we had a glimpse of the mind of God, we would have a great desire to go out there and accomplish great things for Him. Because we have tasted of His love and grace and goodness, and we live in a world that is so in need of that. Nothing can compare to the joy that comes with seeing Him work in this world, and in the individual lives of others! If we have a chance to spread His love, why would we run away from it? It is a wonderful thing to be so excited to serve God! And there is so much that God can use us to do in this world. "Attempt great things for God, expect great things from God."

But before we even talk about the process of doing, at the very root our motivation to serve must stem from our love for Him, and for others. It is so easy to lose track, and end up looking for ways to serve Him for the sake of serving, seeking to do things for the sake of doing, or so that we can feel good, and losing the heart of it all. This has happened in my own life, and I will testify that it is ultimately fruitless. I have found personally that God will show us the way to serve, God will place in us convictions on how to serve, God will lead us into situations where we can serve, if we are earnestly open to His leading and wait upon Him patiently. "He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing." John 15:5. Abide in His love, know His heart for others, and the service which stems from that will be fruitful, as He has promised.

"God's work done God's way will never lack God's supply" Hudson Taylor

"All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works." 2 Tim 3:16

"As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby." 1 Pet. 2:2

I pray that none of us will ever underestimate the importance of the Word in our lives. But in fact I wonder if we can ever fully comprehend its importance. It is the greatest storehouse of wisdom in this world, a guide to every situation in our lives, contains the answers to every problem we face, and it sits neatly on our tables. We can even bring it anywhere and everywhere we go! Isn't that great? Many people say that they lack God's guidance in their lives; perhaps sometimes we forget that the Word from God Himself can be read anytime we want.

There are numerous Christian books and writings out there; some are absolutely fabulous. But good books and writings have one thing in common- they are all based upon the Word of God. For the Word is from God Himself; where else can we go to find wisdom? And even if God speaks to us in other ways, His teachings and revelations will always agreed with what is in His Word, which He himself inspired. Good books help us along the way, spur us on when we are down, encourage us when we are weary, guide us when we are doubtful. But we must, and in fact will, always come back to the infallible Word of God. Nothing must ever take the place of God's Word.

How much time do we dedicate to God's Word? If God is not speaking through His Word, then maybe we are not spending enough time on it, or not approaching it with an open and teachable heart. Revival in my spiritual life was initiated not by a great big event, but by a period of constant quiet time, dependence upon His Word and prayer. If we would approach quiet time and reading the Bible with as much intention and purpose as we approach our favourite hobbies, we would be amazed at how God can reveal the wonderful, amazing secrets of His Word to us.

Remember this children's song?

Read the Bible pray everyday
Pray everyday, pray everyday
Read the Bible pray everyday
If you want to grow

This is to all the J2s who are studying like mad now, as well as to everyone else who is in school and studying. It's a stressful thing, studying. You know people always tell each other to trust God during these times, especially when crucial examinations like the O or A levels are coming up. I used to quote Proverbs 3: 5-6 to my friends who were taking examinations-

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding; In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."

But many people find it really difficult to trust God during these times, because the stress is so great. How to trust God when there's so much left to study? How to trust God when I don't understand half the syllabus? How? It really isn't easy. But I hope to help my trying to explain what I believe trusting in God really means, especially in reference to this beautiful verse.

First of all, trusting in God does not mean sitting back and not studying, and waiting for God to give you the good results. Only a fool would do that. When God made this world He made the rules that govern this world, and one of those rules is that if you want to do well for an exam, you have to work hard and study. So when people tell you to trust God, they do not mean study less.

What I believe trusting in God really means is a change in attitude. Most of us study so hard because society, school, our family is expecting us to do so. Everyone else is studying so hard and doing so well; if we don't do well, we'll be deemed as failures or left behind. Also we are worried that if we do not do well in our studies, then our future will be ruined; we will have less career opportunities, we won't be able to go to such-and-such university, do such-and-such course. But embedded within these views is the subtle belief that we control our future. That if we do well in our examinations then our future is secure. That if only we can be better than everyone else we would have succeeded in life. That doing well for examinations is a ticket to a better life in the future- you either have that ticket, and rejoice; or you don't have it, and are doomed.

But as Christians, is that the view that God tells us to take? Clearly not! Again and again God reassures us that He has our futures in His hand. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Jer. 29:13. An expected end. We expect to have a joyful future; how ironic is it that we will only find it when we surrender all to God! "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding..." The world may have the understanding that good grades equals future success and happiness, but this verse tells us clearly not to succumb to that understanding, but to trust God for our futures. He alone will give us a future that is filled with joy.

Here another paradigm shift in our minds is necessary. What do we see in a joyful future? There are a few things that are definitely not meant to be part of that. Money, fame, honour, glory, material comfort. Easy to say, but I think we all need to reexamine ourselves and see whether subtly, even unconsciously, we are still subscribing to these things, and believing that they are part of the future we want. We may be subscribing to that belief without even knowing it! God has something much better to offer. I believe that joy in the future comes from the prospect of serving the Lord. Think about it for a while. That is our joy, serving the Lord! Nothing else but serving the Lord! He calls us to serve Him everywhere- at home, in the workplace. He also promises that He will always empower us to serve Him, and provide for all our needs while we are doing it. And if that is really so, why do we worry so much about our grades? Why do we worry so much about which university we go to? Why do we worry so much about the jobs we'll get into? These things are secondary; they are simply means, simply means to our ultimate end of serving the Lord in our lives. Once we have removed the coloured spectacles of the world's beliefs and realise what our lives are truly about, and Who the real source of joy is, then we will see things so very differently.

So what kind of attitude change is necessary? "In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths." Acknowledge Him. Begin by in your mind and heart, surrendering your grades, and your future to Him. Learn to trust that no matter how you score, He will put you in a place where you can serve Him joyfully. Study hard, but always remember that God is in control. It makes a great difference! Pray before every exam, surrendering the results to Him. Do your best, and leave the rest to Him. Do we really believe that He will direct our paths in life? We will not if we keep stubbornly holding on to our own expectations and hopes of our futures, and think that we can secure it for ourselves; we can if we begin to trust in Him.

People may think that I am not qualified to write about exam stress because I have never had as much problems with work as others. But here I have said nothing about doing well in exams; only about trusting God, which I believe is the real crux of the matter, and which I have had to do as well. As a President's Scholar I have more reason than anyone else to not worry about my future; but I stand here and tell you that even with all these things, our lives will never be complete. I worry that if I do not find Him and have Him directing my paths, then all would have been in vain! I can imagine myself in this position but without God, if that were possible at all- sure, I have achieved much, but as I look towards the future, I still have no idea where I'm going, no idea where my joy is, and can only continue as I have always done- work hard, compete to be the best, succeed in a worldly sense. That's what many people are doing- just working and working and working, believing that their work will bring them happiness, when in reality all it brings is more work. That is not what God intends for us! He intends for us to know Him and to serve Him in our lives, and I will testify without doubt that that is the greatest joy.

I would gladly say with Paul, "...I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord..." Even if we had the greatest grades in the world, but did not know Christ, it would count for nothing; trust wholeheartedly in Him, and let Him unfold the glorious plans He has for you.

"Remember this day, in which ye came out from Egypt, and out of the home of bondage; for by his strength of hand the Lord brought you out from this place..." Ex. 13:3

".. he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance..." John 14:26-27

Does the future look uncertain to you? Do you often feel like you are worried, confused, struggling with the present, because you know not what lies ahead? Or perhaps are you struggling like never before, God seems a million miles away, and you have no idea what to do? Nothing you can think of or have tried seems to work, you're just totally lost. Are you feeling that way?

We know nothing of the future, that is a fact. Countless times I have tried to anticipate the future, and even make great plans ahead, only to find them denied one way or another. God has this great knack of spoiling plans, especially those that we get so excited about. Whatever we want to happen never happens; God always reveals something else.

Why is this so? Because if we want to yield our lives to God, then we must acknowledge and learn that He and He alone is is control of the future, not us. If we were discerning enough to be able to see what lies ahead, then perhaps God could let us have a share of the planning. But we are not. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55: 8-9. If God were to leave the future to us, we would go astray amazingly quickly, like sheep without a shepherd. Even if our intentions are good; even if we are intending to honour Him.

So what can we do then if we cannot look to the future. We can look to the past. We can remember. We can remember the lessons that God has taught us in the past. We can remember God's goodness in delivering us from the trials we have faced before; we can remember how He has brought us through to this point. In fact, some lessons can only be learned in retrospect. Jesus evidently felt that this was important, because He described one of the roles of the Holy Spirit as to "bring all things to your remembrance." Think about it. Lessons are meant to be applied; especially those we have learned though our mistakes, so that we will not make them again. The future is uncertain, but the past is cast in stone. The lessons we have learnt and the wonderful things that God has done in our lives are cast in stone; they will help us in the decisions that we make at the present, or in the struggles we face at the moment, which will lead us to the future that God will step by step reveal.

And remembering what God has spoken and done in the past can keep us from going astray. When faced with temptation anew in the Promised Land, the Israelites went astray partly because they failed to remember the glorious things that God had done for them, how He had delivered them, and the commands that He had given them. They focused only on the present- their needs, their wants. All gratitude was lost. As i wrote in my previous entry- if I had remembered what God had said before and followed, then perhaps I would not have gone so far astray.

And we have this glorious promise- "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and for ever." The Jesus who has carried us through our past is the same Jesus who will carry us into the future.

So if you are facing a struggle or not sure what to do, pray for guidance in the present, and remember the past.

"But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 32:10

I have just come out of the greatest trial I have faced a long, long time. It was so bad that at times it felt like the greatest trial that I have ever faced in my life. Whether it is, I don't know.

The important thing, and what I want everyone to know, is that when it came to the crunch, my faith absolutely crumbled. Like Peter who denied Jesus just days after vowing to go to the death with Him. I knew what God would have wanted me to do, I knew the lessons that He had taught me, and yet I chose to go my own way. I chose to succumb totally to my own emotions and feelings, do what I wanted to do, and let go of all self-control. I committed some dastardly sins, said some very hurtful things. I failed miserably. And it confirmed what God has told me all along- that I am really so, so weak. That if I choose to rely on my own strength and my own way of doing things, I am doomed to failure. Indeed all my actions in the past week did not help one single bit, they just made things worse.

And it was only after all my feelings had been vented, and I had nothing left inside, and I turned back to God, that they change came. It was only when I looked back to His Word, the lessons that He has taught me in the past, the calling that He has given so clearly to me, that everything turned right. It was not a new problem; and God had taught me sufficiently and amply in the past how to deal with it. I turned away and fell; by His guidance I turned back, and found life.

Did God know that I would fall? "But He knoweth the way that I take..." I believe He did. And I believe He meant it as the strongest lesson thus far in the importance of depending wholeheartedly and following Him, and what He has taught me. Truly we are so very weak, prone to wander, prone to fall! Without His guidance every day of our lives we would so quickly go astray, like "sheep without a shepherd."

I truly thank God that through it all, He was so patient with me and brought me back after I had chosen to go astray. If you are feeling inadequate, or weak, or that God cannot possible use and bless a person like you, think again! He uses ordinary people; He uses weak people. No matter how weak and ordinary we are, our mighty God can use us and be so real to us. Just look at the disciples- fishermen, tax collectors. Peter, many of whose weaknesses we can see in ourselves. Because when we are weak, then God can be strong. I want to add a line to the above verse- ".. when he hath tried me, by His guidance and strength, I shall come forth as gold."

You rescued me, and picked me up
A living hope of grace revealed
A life transformed in righteousness
O Lord You have rescued me