As I was preparing to leave a friend's party on New Year's Eve, I was bending down to wear my shoe when suddenly I felt a shooting pain down my left leg as it collapsed under me. I thought nothing of it until the next morning when the same thing happened as I was bending to brush my teeth, albeit with worse intensity. It seemed that I had suffered a slipped disc.

What a way to start the New Year!

I was given an MC for the week and for the next few days, I rested in bed with minimal movement. Out of the whole experience I learnt a few valuable lessons.

Lying there and trying to pray and reflect on the Word of God, I realised how prone my mind is to wander. In daily life my mind is constantly kept busy by the many demands of work and study. But that morning, as all the busyness was stripped away and rest enforced, I found rather infuriatingly that I just could not concentrate on God. I could barely pray for 5 minutes without my thoughts drifting to some mundane thing. I determined that I would discipline my mind to focus on God, and so for the next hour or so I lay there, the cycle of subconsciously drifting away and doggedly returning repeating many times. By the end I was tired, but thankfully I had managed to reflect on some important issues.

It was a crucial lesson for me, going into this New Year. In our spiritual lives our minds are a powerful faculty, helping us to understand and meditate on the Word of God, analyse the world around us, and to reflect on our lives and set spiritual directions. Jesus commanded, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." (Matt 22:37) But we find that in life our minds are constantly occupied by work, people, leisure, and a thousand and one other things. And the serious consequence is that our minds have not been trained to love God.

How then do we love God with our minds? Well firstly I believe it must be seen as a discipline. Our minds are like a playful child in class, restless and always running around, needing to be disciplined to sit still and listen to the Teacher. Secondly, it is not confined to our devotional time each day, but it is an all-day affair. We love God with our minds when we go to work, when we relate to the people around us, when we study, when we do our devotions in quiet. It is the constant focusing of the mind to fulfill God's purposes and shine His light, no matter what the activity or time of day. It is like a constant tuning of a radio to receive and broadcast messages throughout the day. It is a constant reflection on ourselves and how we are living, so that we may realise our sins and shortcomings and seek the Lord's guidance.

Such a mind will have no problems concentrating on God when quiet time comes, because it has never stopped concentrating on Him at all. Oh, for such a mind!


Lying there in bed was also quite frustrating for me, because even doing simple things became difficult and inconvenient. Getting books or notes was a real hassle, trying to type notes with the laptop in my lap and head propped up was a real discomfort, and I had not achieved much by the end of the day.

In retrospect, I realise that prior to the injury, one of the mottos of my life had been stregnth and accomplishment. Especially with my final exams looming just 2 months away. I needed to work fast and effectively to be able to cover the vast amounts of information. And I think it is very much part of my personality too, to have my life organized and in control. Having goals and purposes, working hard and efficiently to achieve them, trying not to waste any time.

But during those days in bed, all that changed. I was no longer the master of my destiny; even something simple like getting up from bed was slow and painful. I had to accept that I could not do things as fast or efficiently as before. I had to take time to rest. In short, I had to allow a certain amount of weakness in my life.

And the verse which came to me was 2 Corinthians 12: 7-10. It is one my favourite verses in the Bible, written by the apostle Paul-

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

What that thorn in the flesh was in uncertain, but what Paul is saying here is earth-shattering. He delighted in weakness, because that is when he learnt to depend on the grace of the Lord to make Him strong. "For when I am weak, then I am strong".

In a world that celebrates individual strength and achievement, this is unthinkable. We can probably hardly believe it ourselves. And yet, when we really think about it, is not our human strength an illusion? We are fallible; no one is invincible. Even the very greatest fail. But compare that to the power of our Almighty God, Sovereign, the One for whom nothing is impossible. The One who orders this world. The choice is obvious. And He said, "my power is made perfect in weakness". What an amazing prospect!

So what does it mean to be weak? As Paul mentioned, it may mean some physical weakness or infirmity, or some difficulties, hardships or persecutions. These are the situations that really force us to depend on the Lord. But I believe it also means having an attitude of weakness no matter what the circumstance - always recognising that our human strength is just not sufficient, and depending on the Lord's grace and strength. This is different from self-belittlement, which is to think that we are totally useless and can do nothing at all. We recognise that God has given us a certain amount of strength and ability, but it is never sufficient. We need the grace of the Lord. We see through the illusion of our own human strength and pride, and humbly exchange it for the perfect power of God.

The best example is actually not Paul, but our Lord Jesus Himself. His words showed a remarkable dependence on the Father, and His life echoed that, constantly retreating to spend time with Him. He travelled miles on foot, not with an army behind, but a ragamuffin band of disciples. He entered Jerusalem not in a carriage, but on a donkey. His life was characterized by persecution and opposition, and culminated in the ultimate show of weakness- death on a Cross. And yet that Cross on Calvary has become the greatest symbol of God's power in the history of this world.

The victorious Christian life is not through a throne, but through the Cross. It was a humbling lesson for me as I entered this New Year, a year that will be full of struggle, hardship and difficulty. All the more, that attitude of weakness is what I truly need!

Reflections for the New Year

"Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ,
For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." Colossians 2:8-10

"Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth." Colossians 3:2

For quite long I had been struggling with a number of issues. One was an awareness that my mind had become increasingly undisciplined, often drifting away to earthly and mundane things instead of to the things of God. Another was a crisis of identity. In the past I saw myself as a disciple of Christ, living to serve Him and bring Him glory. But increasingly I began to define my life in worldly terms- enjoying earthly pleasures, exciting hobbies and interests, having certain material possessions, excelling in worldly endeavours and achievements.

It was on the background of these struggles that these 2 verses came. "Beware lest anyone cheat you through philosophy and empty deceit, according to the tradition of men, according to the basic principles of the world, and not according to Christ..." In an instant I realised that I had been influenced greatly by the world around me. In day and age, traditional philosophy is not often talked about, but I believe that there are certain modern philosophies or values of life that people carry.

One is that of hedonism- living life purely for the pursuit of pleasure. We see it everywhere- people indulge in exquisite food, luxurious and exotic holidays, alcohol, sex, and so forth. The maxim here is to enjoy life to the max. Advertisements encourage us to indulge ourselves, books detail the best restaurants and the most exciting holidays, people tell us how to get the most out of life.

Another is that of materialism. Money makes the world, and Singapore especially, go round. People live their entire lives in pursuit of money and the million and one glitzy things that money can buy. Big houses, flashy cars, the latest gadgets, designer clothes, and other valued possessions. They are also status symbols, marks of success in a person's life. Some people work so hard to earn their millions that they neglect their own families. Many resort to gambling, which seems a much easier road to riches- hence the rise in betting, lottery and most recently casinos.

There is no doubt that physical needs like food, homes, transport have to be met. Our problem is that we are not content with simply meeting our needs. A simple functional car is not enough; we must have the fastest, flashiest, most luxurious one. A simple apartment or flat is not enough; we must have that big bungalow with the huge garden and swimming pool. Simple clothes are not enough; we must have the lates fashion. The Bible tells us that "with food and clothing, we shall be content". A missionary once taught me that principle of living below what you can afford. Living by these principles free up money that can be used to bless the poor, needy and suffering.

The third is not really a philosophy, but rather a phenomenon- that of hobbies. It seems benign enough in itself, but in the modern era, the advancement of technology and the widespread access to information on the Internet and books have led to hobbies becoming so “interesting” and time-consuming that people can spend their entire lives on them, neglecting all else. Examples include teenagers (and adults) spending hours in front of a computer screen or television, sometimes even forgetting food. People spending hours browsing through online shopping catalogues or walking the malls. Or people spending hours taking photographs or looking at the latest photographic equipment. Or people spending many months or years travelling the world, in search of new experiences.

Not to say that hobbies are wrong in themselves. I myself am an avid photographer and traveller. But in that respect I have come to understand that finding a balance is crucial. More time and energy spend on my hobbies means less time spent with God, serving God, building relationships with people. And this is especially so in our busy world where we already have so little time. It is not just time, but thinking to much about them also can turn our minds away from God. I do not think the early apostles like Paul, or the great heroes of the faith in centuries past, had many hobbies to distract them (no televisions or computers or shopping malls at that time).

This balance is intensely personal; it varies from person to person. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. The things that bind me may not have the effect on someone else. It is the same for material possessions as well; different people covet different things. One must search his own heart before God, and honestly evaluate if these worldly things have distracted him or her from God’s purposes.

We do not realise how much these worldly values and philosophies have integrated into us, but they have. As disciples of Christ we cannot avoid them, but we must be able to stand back, realise their existence, and seek to free ourselves of them. "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Rom 12:2) Enjoying pleasure and having material goods and hobbies in this world are NOT evil- in fact, the Bible tells us that “every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights..” (James 1:17). It is only when we idolise these things and make their acquisition our sole aim in life that we have lost sight of God’s original plan. The gifts are not the goal, but merely to draw us closer to the Giver and heighten our enjoyment of Him. Our lives should therefore be defined not in terms of the gifts, but as service to the Giver.

"For in Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily; and you are complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power". The second part of the verse also spoke to me. I have often felt this sense of uneasiness, that if I did not live as the world lives, and excel at or possess worldly things, then I would be missing out on something in life. This verse reassured me that in Christ I was already complete- in Him I find the purpose He created me for, the liberation from worldly chains to live under His will, and the joy that money can never buy and this world and its attractions can never give.

“Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.” It seems that as we grow older, we tend to develop spiritual tunnel vision. Our eyes become fixed on worldly affairs, and we lose the ability to look up to see things of eternal value. It is partly due to the philosophies that I mentioned earlier, and the fact that as we age the practical questions of living, such as income and occupation, have to be answered. It is also because we are surrounded by people (non-Christian and Christian) who are worldly in their outlook. It is very difficult to avoid jumping on the bandwagon.

The only way out is to constantly seek the influence of God, and here is where our inner spiritual life is so crucial. We need prolonged periods of time alone with God, reflecting on our lives, meditating on His Word, and praying. In doing so we seek to re-align our values and purposes with His, and allow His Spirit to change us from deep within. For at least 8 hours a day, 5-6 days a week we are under the influence of Man; surely the 5 minutes spent with God before bed is not sufficient! It requires discipline, but it is a discipline that leads to life. In our daily lives as well, we must learn to, as Brother Lawrence described, "practise the presence of God." In the midst of our activities and work, we need to constantly attune ourselves to Him in our hearts and minds, and not allow the values of the world to seep in.

This beautiful hymn “Come find the Quiet Centre” sums it up beautifully:

Come and find the quiet center
In the crowded life we lead,
find the room for hope to enter,
find the frame where we are freed:
Clear the chaos and the clutter,
Clear our eyes that we can see.
All the things that really matter,
Be at peace and simply be.

That quiet centre, that inner life, is what so many of us lack. And it is not something we can create; it is a gift of God as we seek Him earnestly. It shows in the way we treat people, the way we react to stressful situations, setbacks and sufferings. It helps us stand firm in the face of modern philosophies and values, it turns our minds back to God and eternal things. It is the centre of unbroken peace and joy; it constantly spurs us to serve God and glorify Him. I ask myself, is that quiet centre there? And the answer is a plain No.

So my resolution for this year is to seek that quiet centre. May you be able to find it too. Blessed New Year!